Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Laws of the Internet

Quietus' first law of the internet:

The length and detail of any factual article on the internet is inverse to its practical utility and/or academic importance.

I first formulated this law (and indeed touched upon it here) years ago when I noted that Wikipedias article for Spiderwoman was four times as long as its article on Sergei Witte. Though particularly true of Wikipedia, this is generally true everywhere on the internet, a happy land where it is easier to find accurate information about Timecube than Kant, where it is easier to research ridiculous 9/11 conspiracy theories than the Armenian genocide, and where discussion of crap webcomics far outweighs that of fine art. Salut, internet.

Quietus second law of the internet:

The number of people on the internet who claim to have significant academic or professional qualifications so outweighs the number of people who do that it is best to assume anyone making such claims is lying.

Seriously. You have an MA in English literature and philosophy but you can't spell 'grammar'. Well, ain't that crazy?

Quietus' third law of the internet:

As the e-penis lengthens, the desire to create the next Godwins law approaches one.

Self explanatory.

Also, entirely unrelated, but does anyone know how much it costs to nominate someone for a nobel prize?