Sunday, July 23, 2006

Cutatarian 4 lyfe

I have recently discovered the existence of fruitarianism and have been sitting aghast at the joyless, wet, pathetic, stupid depths to which people can sink. In response to this, I have developed an opposing dietary philosophy, namely 'Cutatarianism'. The edicts of cutitarianism are simple:

  1. Eat only animals that possess an exceptional cuteness. Lambs, rabbits, ponies and chinchillas are all acceptable.
  2. If cute animals are not available, substitute majestic animals, or any animal that has ever been anthropomorphised in a major childrens cartoon.
  3. Pun often
I expect cutitarianism to be a resounding success. If I don't report back to you soon about my progress, I will probably have died from morbid obesity.


Rizzo said...

I read that as CUTatarian. As in only eating 14 year old cutters.
Equally amusing I think.

The Master said...

Oh man, you could sell them as Kosher and Halal without any extra effort. Score!

Rizzo said...

Wow! We've discovered a new market!
I'll distribute Asia/Pacific and you can organise Europe.

Dahryl said...

I think this your single greatest accomplishment ever.