1: A 28 minute long proggressive death metal track featuring no less than 12 guitar solos, 3 keyboard solos, extended cross-genre passages and at least 5 vocalists, with the lyrics being the entirety of 'The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock' by T.S. Elliot.
I fucking dare you to even imagine something more pretentious.
2: A decent fucking metal DAB radio station
Ie, not Kerrap! radio.
3: A full album of fucking heavy metal covers of classical and soundtrac pieces.
And I don't mean Trans-Siberian Orchestra style. If possible, this would have no keyboards at all, just full on awesome triple guitar assault, dripping with distortion, in place of an orchestra. Tracks covered would include 'Night on a Bare Mountain' by Mussorgksy, 'Ride of the Valkyries' by Wagner, 'Danse Macabre' by Saint Saens, 'Toccata and Fugue in D Minor' by Bach, 'Hall of the Mountain King' by Grieg and 'Imperial March' by John Williams.
4: Ulver vs Merzbow
5: World peace
Distant contender this one. Someone do the fucking covers album now!