Monday, December 26, 2005

Why I hate black metal fans.

It doesn't take more than about, say, thirty seconds on anus.com to inform the casual reader that a large majority of black metal fans are opinionated, pretentious, hypocritical, philosophically misguided, narrow-minded and often patently ridiculous. Now, I, myself, am a fan of the music that men call black metal: I rank many black metal bands as among my personal favourites and as some of the greatest bands of all time. I have the history and philosophy of this most morbid of genres at my fingertips. And I feel confidently in saying that most of the fans, and a pretty reasonable amount of the musicians as well, judging by some interviews I've seen, are complete and utter wankers.

This mainly arises from the utterly inflated view many black metal fans have of their own self-importance and self-worth, and the importance of black metal as a whole. Now, let's be frank: the idea that black metal actually matters, on a world scale, is utterly fucking ridiculous. Black metal is not a major cultural force, and it probably never will be. The only people in the world who care about black metal are its fans and some rather distraught, church-less vicars. However, many black metal fans view black metal as, literally, the most important thing in the universe. Based on this assumption, they judge themselves rightly superior to every other music consumer and indeed life-form on the earth, because they've heard Judas Iscariot.

And oh, will they snarl and bitch and fight and sneer over the purity of their precious black metal. Absolutely anything that does not fall within a random and arbitrary test of tr00ness will be branded 'faggoth' or 'norsecore'. The cardinal sin is having any influences whatsoever that fall outside the black metal genre, although bands who play too fast, or don't have enough gravitas to their lyrics are also doomed. Of course, you can write off all these sins by being Nazis: Nokturnal Mortum can get away with anything and the Tr00 grim kvlt elite will still felate them. The amusing thing about this is that they will then complain, at length, about the stagnation of the scene. The scene is, of course, not stagnant at all, it's merely that progressive artists such as Borknagar, Arcturus, Sigh, ...And Oceans and so forth have been dismissed as 'un-true'. The hypocrisy is occasionally compounded by claiming that the philosophy of black metal is it's defining element. But only, of course, if you present it in a suitably black metal manner. Thus originality in the black metal scene is confined to who can write the most necro riff, and it's more sorrow to the idiot fans, because these people never listen to anything else BUT black metal. They have actually lost touch with the whole idea behind liking music, again pushing forward the idea that black metal is somehow better than all other music. Of course, most of these black metal fans don't have the first idea about musical theory or history, or indeed much intelligence: they can't tell you WHY black metal is better than anything else. They don't have the wit or culture. They can tell you that other music is gay and that you're a Jewish poser for listening to it, but that's about it. They can tell you that allowing any sort of outside influence to 'corrupt' black metal (or, in some of the more hilarious cases, allowing posers to even listen to black metal) will destroy the 'purity' of black metal, but they cannot satisfactorily explain to you either what the purity of black metal is, or why you should give a flying fuck. Because they will never listen to anything but black metal, if they ever do start a band, it will be a poor clone of their favourite black metal bands, because they will bring no new influences and will never have stretched their musical abilities by playing anything except Deathcrush.

Coupled with this is a brand of philosophy so ridiculous and mal-informed that it can scarcely fail to make the educated man or woman chuckle. To see the spurious crap spewed up by people who have never read a single book on philsophy or theology and who do not undestand paganism, monotheism, racialism, romanticism, gothic tradition, satanism, the difference between patriotism and nationalism, and a whole score of other concepts, try and explain their mal-formed worldviews can be almost charming. To see a man complain at length about christian oppression then turn right round and say he's a national socialist? Classic. To see someone deny that they are a satanist then lengthily espouse satanic morality? Brilliant. To see some arrogant turd talk about 'God is Dead' having read only the Wikipedia article on Neitzsche, if that? Warms the cockles of my heart, it does. And if I had a pound for everyone who claims to be a pagan and can't name a single sabbat, or the name of a god beyond Thor? I'd be a rich man. Oh, and their espousing of an anti-humanist, individualist philosophy when they are worse sheep even than most goths, now that's classic. You hate me because I'm different, I hate you because you're all the same. Ahahahahahaha.

The really, brutally ironic thing is that all this idiocy is a pure invention of latter day social retards who take the whole thing as seriously as if they're in the Inner Circle, back in the day. They act every day like Varg Vikernes used to talk to the press (and it would really do a world of good if many of them understood that 95% of the interviews with him are fake. Do they really think people can just trot into the prison where he's held and have a chat with him?) and most of them are 15 years of age. I really, really, hate them. I could go on, and on, and on about the sheer retarded, brain dead, stupidity of them. But you know what? I won't fucking bother. I'm going to go off, brew a nice cup of tea, and listen to some poser faggoth gaycore shit like Current 93. Then I may come back and make a post about MUSIC.

26 comments:

Rizzo said...

Waheey. I hate BM fans too! And uber goths. They're pretty much the same really, just elitist about different types of music.

Dahryl said...

I've known for a while that I hate most black metal fans, but you've now given me more reasons other than 'they're completely retarded'.
And that part about the 'purity of black metal' was brilliant. It's quite possible that black metal fans are the worst out of all of those subcultures. As far as reasoning and motivation goes anyway, because from the sounds of it they don't have any...
Very strong post!

Borondir said...

Brilliant Khar!

I've almost stopped listening to black metal except some of the most progressive, and therefore "untrue" bands. The idiocy of the fans certainly helped drive me away from the scene.

I totally agree with your indictment of the ideology. I'm a progressive Christian who has no problem with sincere pagans, but the ill-informed black metal fans are rather grating.

postparanoid said...

now this will be interesting: i found your article through google, by typing: "why i hate black metal". and you expressed most of the reasons why i do not like black metal fans, and to be honest, i despise black metal in general. this whole subculture is so comical, brutal and ignorant. but maybe i just got the wrong impression of the music, because of its narrow-minded fans. you're right, most of the bm fans don't listen to anything else but - bm. but that was not my point. thank you for sharing your thoughts with the www.

and your digression about current 93 warmed my heart :)

Francis said...

HAH, this is brilliant... I found this while Googling "I hate black metal" almost just like the previous guy did. This is the stuff I had in my mind, and partially expressed, but not in the exact way I really wanted to. It sums it all up, I agree that we could go on and on and on about it. But I just won't fucking bother.

Great points concerning their ideology and 'philosophy'. My ex turned into this, on top of all the issues we were starting to have. But it was the cherry on top, the final straw, watching someone you care for turn into something so vulgar in such a blatant way is quite painful.

Great post... I'll now keep an eye on your blog.

Luanne said...

i totally agree with you. i love the genre but the fans really turn me off. what you said about the "tr00ness" of black metal was right on. and youre right, they give no reason as to why their genre (reserved for "real" black metal fans only) is so much better. thank you, i've been looking for a rant like this.

Kitty said...

Mad lulz @ your post from The Atmospheric Black Metal Kitchen (http://abmkitchen.blogspot.com)

I agree with you. Ignorance ist not krieg, and Judas Iscariot are far from underground. :P

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with you man... excellent post! I'm disgusted by black metal fans, although I enjoy black metal music a lot. Most of the black metal fans are 13 year old kids which talk all day about forest, caves and shit in their room with their corpsepaint on, but are afraid to walk outside in their their backyard. And what really annoys me is the fact that millions of them despise new Darkthrone work (cult is alive, foad) because it's not "grim nekro kvlt". But F.O.A.D. sends so strong message about wave of posers infecting black metal... Stay hard!

Ahmad said...

"Ignorance ist not Krieg"

That phrase sums up the ENTIRE sub-culture so neatly.

This is to let you know that I will be using that phrase liberally, without the user's express, written permission.

Anonymous said...

Haha! Did you have some bad experiences with a few fifteen year olds? Well done, you have boringly typecast the kind of character that turns up in almost every musical genre...the pop princess that spurns anything but the acoustic...the classic/baroque fans that espouse the utter beauty of their art and the clumsiness of all others...and so on and so forth.
It's easy to make claims that need no verification. Just claim you've experienced this. I, on the other hand, do not have confirmation bias when looking for stereotypes and I experience a diverse crowd amongst fans of the genre.
I mean really, you go to ANUS to learn anything about black metal fans? Like you are fishing for the nihilist snobbery before you even begin?
Let me clear this up. Your points, like those who whine about the purity of their genre, the superiority of their genre of their image, of their philosophical ideals, there will always be those who have jumped on a band wagon or read a wikipedia article or are just plain pig-headed to search for reasons to back their beliefs, and they often just go for aesthetic. I've met the ignorant pagans, the 'hardcore' kids without a shred of talent or knowledge. They way you assume this is exclusive to proponents of black metal just seems to suggest someone of the type had just irked you.
I appreciate technical prowess, thematic profundity and effectiveness of delivery in music. Thus there are black metal bands I like and those I don't, and I judge them on their merits, not their adherence to a particular scene.
You article is an utterly boring emotional backlash, preposterously and unjustly thrown at a majority of black metal fans, though you claim yourself to be an exception.

Anonymous said...

yea, they exist. but they don't know what real black metal is. i know that just sounds like no true Scotsman but its true. like you said all they listen to is black metal, and anyone who trys to further a genre by copying it just robs it of its power and grace.

on the other hand you make fun of black metal fans who just sit in there room or have no technical skill. i kind of like having these people in the genre fan base, its really a dumping ground for humans who have lost there dreams and now make horrible attempts to reach out any way they can... usually by posting there terrible black metal photos and videos. allot of these people where excluded elsewhere in life and this is just a manifestation of them fighting to hold on to something they love...they just don't understand that its a little bird, and when they squeeze too hard it dies. HAHAHA.

and everyone in every genre looks the same..

besides black metal is all about contrast! and to see the stupidest /lamest fans/bands in the world next to some of the most bad ass motherfuckers to ever live! doesn't drive the point home any harder than that!

its because black metal image inst a costume as many might think, its rather a extension of personality, and you cant hide who you are under corpse paint... and because of that, you can see how misguided so many people are.

Anonymous said...

I love black metal, but idiots like Gaahl piss me the fuck off. Its silly, but its still a culture that i respect, just like christianity or judiasm. They say that Dimmu Borgir are "sellouts" lol, only cause they are actually doing something with the genre. Rizzo, in no way are BM fans and goths the same. The whole music industry would be so much better if everyone could just respect other genres. Not even like them, just have a common respect, because extreme black metal fans are actually most comparable with, and yes, i am going to say it: Wiggas. think about it.

PrimevalScum said...

I'm still trying to figure how the fuck one can be a Laveyan Satanist and a Fascist at the same time. They're opposing ideologies.

Anonymous said...

I am yet another person who has found this blog from writing "i hate black metal" into google out of total boredom and trying to find an article opposed to my favourite genre of music. I feel i need to point out that you are making a generalisation of the fans. I personally consider my self the average black metal fan (dress in black, leather jacket etc just becuase im not sold on the whole individualist thing, as it is human nature to find somehwere to belong) and i definetly try and listen to tonns of things outside black metal, and i definetly appreciate bands that mix black metal with folk, ambient, rock etc. I am not completely convinced that myself and like-minded others are a minority in the scene, ebcuase if you look at the nature of the "tr00 elitists" they have that very attention-seeking personality, os they are the ones whose opinions are heard on the internet most of the time, just becuause the res of us dont really give a fuck. There's also the fact that alot of eleitists are taking the piss, they just like to annoy people becuase it amuses them and do not actually beleive in it. On the other hand it is worring the amount of people who act so immaturely and listen to nothing but black metal, and it's easy to see why this stereotype can seem very true. im also NOT impressed by the whole nazi thing in black metal, it in particular annoys me, in fact i am against non-musical ideology in black metal, political, philosophical or otherwise. Although i find alot of people who agree with this article just dont understand black metal atall.

Anonymous said...

....cry us a river

J.R. said...

I despise black metal for what it has done to the culture. People are so blind to what it has done.

ravenswritings said...

as a balck metal fan myself you may be surprised to hear i totally agree most of the so called "fans" are total fucking tools who pontificate about shit that is A total bollocks and B ill informed crap about Satanism (which by the way they have no concept of) there also elitist turds who just get on my tits something royal any way nice post man i totally agree will be keeping an eye out on your blog

Anonymous said...

I love when people generalize the BM scene from a point of view that shows they have no real experience with it outside of downloading albums from half-assed bands.
Especially when ANUS.COM gets name dropped, because it is one of the only serious sites about metal (hessian.org and deathmetal.org aside). Hipsters, stop fucking listening if you don't like it. Metal isn't about everyone hopping in and having fun. It's the exact opposite.
Try reading a book that isn't modernist trash (Iliad, Crime and Punishment, Bhagavad Gita, Perennial Philosophy,etc.) and turn off the TV (including movies and video games). Your life is a pathetic lie. Please keep our music out of your mainstream secular-humanist consensus reality.
I await with open arms the apocalypse, because you'd all (and myself) be dead, and no longer in the way of the natural biological advance. The earth will cleanse itself. If you don't believe me, try some basic college courses in ecology and genetics. Such is the essence of Black Metal, and to a lower extent, early Death Metal.
This can be easily proven through lyrics and interviews, but as most of you are idiots, keep looking at child porn and fucking any random bitch your dick falls into. The sooner it falls apart, the better. A new society shall rise, based on reality as opposed to pipe dreams.

Anonymous said...

Best post I've ever read from a faggot metalhead. I fucking hate black metal and everything it represents. This is why as a hardcore community member we are determined to beat the living shit out of any faggot wearing a Dark Throne or Dark Funeral shirt in those odd deathcore hybrid shows that unfortunately attract metal fans of all varieties. These stupid, pretentious, egocentric losers have no place our shows, nor the world. They can express their socially dejected selves back in the online cyber forums where they (only) belong to. In the physical space of their mother's bungalow basement.

Holy fucking losers (not unlike all metalheads)

Anonymous said...

I find black metal to be the most interesting metal sub-genre, but I would never be arrogant enough to claim it is "better" than any other genre of music.

Anonymous said...

Also, that deathcore guy above me is a fag.
Seriously, you do know deathcore is metalcore + death metal, right? And that death metal is a metal sub-genre?
Fucking kill yourself.

g said...

I do listen to some BM, not much of a fan, though. Also, that deathcore guy is fucking retarded. Can't tell if he is trolling or a stupid h4rdc0r3 kid.

g said...

hardcore kids who I fucking hate.

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Anonymous said...

We might as well admit that Varg Vikernes is bad ass for stabbing a dude in the face.

Tasha H said...
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